Winners, NYWs, and Others

Winners, NYWs, and OthersGetting to the Heart of the Matter of SuccessThis past week, I participated in an internal, annual, training and strategy conference and was reminded of a few lessons that I'm sharing here. There's a certain humility that comes with this exercise for me, humility that's best captured in these lyrics: ... The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, Im learning again Ive been tryin to get down To the heart of the matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter ... - From Don Henley's The Heart Of The Matter Winners, Not-Yet-Winners, and Others: My highest level observation regarding successful behavior is that people at the conference were in one of three "social states." The Winners had been recognized as having been successful in their roles in 2008. Some won public recognition awards at the conference. For others, it was more implicit, but their stature and accomplishments, perhaps more subtle, were well known to folks who were well plugged-in to real value. Ours is an organization with a lot of specialization and sophistication. We have a lot of folks with long tenure either with our company, or in our industry. We find value in that. As a result, most of the "winners" this year have been recognized as winners in the past. It's definitely more fun and comfortable to be in the winner social state. Roughly half the folks at the conference were clear winners in 2008. Frankly, although that's important, I think the "Not-Yet-Winner" social state is far more interesting and important. Why? One hundred percent of the attendees, i.e. Everyone is Not Yet A Winner for 2009! Observation #1 - All of the Winners for 2008 got there by doing something different from what they were doing in 2007 (whether or not they were successful in 2007). Observation #2- Everyone, Winners, NYW, and Others suffered the pain of cultural and social change in 2008. The Winners and Not-Yets adapted. There are always staffing changes, and often changes in direct superior, as well as other stuff. In our case, 2008 was the first full year post of an important business acquisition. They ALWAYS come with cultural clashes. These clashes can and must be worked through. Sorry for shouting at your with the ALWAYS full caps! For people who aren't in the winning or not-yet-winning mindset, these pains are devastating and debilitating. I'm labeling this mindset as Other. Suffice it to say, it's not winning or not-yet-a-winner. In fact, it's a mindset unlikely to lead to any kind of success or happiness. Observation #3 - Timing is critically important. The winners all told stories. All of the wins took time. We needed to be aggressive and simultaneously patient with those aspects of processes we couldn't control. And we're all control freaks. The way I'm using this term, every reader of this blog is a control freak, too. So this is hard, but important. (See the Hallowell Serenity Prayer, here. It's the text in the comments in lime green.) Observation #4 - Four is too many observations. When I started this, I shared that the conference reminded me of lessons that I've learned but I'm learning again. In short, it's critically important to be nice, and do it seriously. Most of the folks at the meeting were pretty darn exhausted by each evening. That's when the socials were. When we get tired, we often become solemn. And that's exactly when we need to get serious. See Paula Scher's great 2008 TEDTalk, " Great design is serious (not solemn)" for a great review of Serious Vs Solemn. Another nice way of putting this was captured by writer Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988): Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated, deplore these formalities as 'empty,' 'meaningless,' or 'dishonest,' and scorn to use them. No matter how pure their motives, they thereby throw sand into the machinery that does not work too well at best. Robert Heinlein, 1973 - from Time Enough for Love I'll close by sharing, a fifth and final observation. All of the Not-Yet-Winners for 2009, again, that's everyone, were anxious about 2009. What do we need to do that's different from 2008, whether or not it was successful and effective? If 2008 wasn't a clear winner, was it necessary on the path to being a Winner in 2009? And winning in life is a numbers game. We need to be anxiously learning and trying new things, and in doing so, finding new ways to win. What do you think?